Why Meditation Feels Like Shitting Razorblades... At First

From Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana:

Meditation is a tough job. It is an inherently solitary activity. One person battles against enormously powerful forces, part of the very structure of the mind doing the meditating. When you really get into it, you will eventually find yourself confronted with a shocking realization. One day you will look inside and realize the full enormity of what you are actually up against. What you are struggling to pierce looks like a solid wall so tightly knit that not a single ray of light shines through. You find yourself sitting there, staring at this edifice and you say to yourself, "That? I am supposed to get past that? But it's impossible! That is all there is. That is the whole world. That is what everything means, and that is what I use to define myself and to understand everything around me, and if I take that away the whole world will fall apart and I will die. I cannot get through that. I just can't."

 And then you barely notice that a ray of light is hitting you directly in the chest. And you wonder, was the wall ever there?

Read Mindfulness in Plain English here:
http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

pyramidal lubricant

rub rabbit rub

spool

pyewk serp

did i eat

to those who would
feed on me
I ask only
that you feast on
living flesh
there is no taste
among the dead and
dreaming
there before a moonless night
I close my eyes
and walk
burning my
hut to the ground
where is reflection?
where are the ripples that
become children
on a moonless
deathless
dreamless
night?

did i fruit

goofin at the cosmic table
the magi carving up cosmic fruit
boundless cosmic fruit
no beginning
no end fruit
dewy tao fruit
under the bodhi tree fruit
take it into thee
let serpents bury sweet cool noses
into your robes
into parade rattle fruit
into bones a long way from home
into all that jazz fruit
let gentle words rot
and give you such fruit
you'll never go hungry
while you're horny
while the pelvis opens up
like a bowl for alms
open the door
lie on the floor
and remain calm
time and space
are just fruit
all that
fruit
that energy bloss-
oming
cosmic fruit