Mother's Elf

Just as one accepts the physical body as an immediate reality, so too should one accept the emotional body in its present manifestation. It is what we have to work with, our brightest means of discovery. And just as it is with the body, we should feel it fully and follow it with utter devotion as a puppy follows its master.

This isn't to say that we are mistaken in the desire to change our momentary modality, however, for to accept the emotional state in its connection to the great primacy is to accept also its transformative aspect as all things are light-hearted with the spirit of change. Alchemy has a very loving approach to what it seeks to transmute, I think. When a mother pushes her child to grow in the world, she does so out of love.

We can be mothers to ourselves. We can love ourselves unconditionally, no matter what forms appear as the emotional body, and we can always provide encouragement. The mother understands that everything happens in baby steps. She never faults her child for stumbling. She accepts her child in its awkward, innocent state, for that is its expression of beauty.

Anal Beads... I Mean, Happiness

In trying to put the concept of happiness in the proper context, I'm avoiding philosophy, or worse yet, ethics. Energy in our squishy little world seems to go through a cycle. Part of this cycle, one might say, is happiness. Or perhaps happiness is the ability itself of the cycle to be completed rather than hung up on one part.

The latter might be more akin to happiness as the yogi's acceptance, where one accepts all that comes with equanimity. That state seems dismal at first, but if one sees it through it can flower into something much more redeeming, something that could be explained rather crudely as "happiness." Ah, well, crudeness is simple, so this is not without appeal. I am happy to exist, however that turns out.

Wilhelm Reich's version of the cycle (tension -> charge -> discharge -> relaxation) works for me. Just as there is no orgasm without an initial sexual tension in the muscles, happiness also must follow certain tensions. It will come and it will go, all the while providing us with an indigenous chemical reward system that guides us through the terrestrial matrix.

I've noticed this cycle occurring many times over in my life thus far, and not by chance so much as by an equal balance of points and counterpoints. You can't avoid either side of the coin. Even when I've tried to remain in a sad state, I've failed terribly. Or failed rather joyfully, you might say. The best we can do, as far as I can tell, is be an honest witness to change.

So, just breathe, I guess. Fuck, don't look at me. I don't know.